blue_lotus13 | (no subject)

I find it a little worrisome that sometimes when I feel sad for a day or two, I start to worry that I'm depressed. Is this a common thing?
Does this happen to other people?

While I was home, my mom had an inflamed gland on the side of her face. Her face swelled up and she rushed to the medi-clinic, concerned that it was a tumour. She had breast cancer when I was 13 and I reasoned that this was part of what triggered her intense fear about the inflamation. (She's okay now after a healthy dose of antibiotics).

I'm okay lately. I think I need to realize that my life can sometimes be hard. I work a lot and I'm constantly scrambling to find more work and more money. I want to be financially stable and I'm just not at this point. I don't always get to see my friends because I tend to work a lot of evenings and weekends, when others are free to do things. When I think about it, I know that I'm not depressed. I have a lot of energy and a lot of good things in my life. I can concentrate and eat and sleep and have mostly stable emotions. It's just the fear of depression that lurks in the dark.

Things are good. It's beautifully sunny and I have some projects on the go.

I have a great family, a wonderful boyfriend and good friends. I get to do a lot of things that I love and sometimes get paid for them. I have friends visiting in April and a trip to Hollywood(!) to look forward to.