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I just got the funniest Xmas card from a friend. As most people know, I love Leonardo DiCaprio. My friend Sunni just sent me a postcard with a picture of Leo from Romeo and Juliet. On the back the card reads, "My Heart will go on at Christmas and year-round." She signed it from Leo, but I could tell that it was from her from the handwriting. It's hilarious! I laughed really hard when I saw it.

We've been living in a deep freeze here. The cold started on Saturday. I woke up and completely wimped out. I was determined to stay inside, but my friend Ben offered to pick me up and take me to the Edmonton Journal bookfair. Once I decided to go out, I was okay. I ended up bundling up and walking to the farmer's market, so I left my house even before Ben came to get me. The bookfair was a blast. We listened to some children's writers, then talked to Todd Babiak via Skype. Todd was in France, but his Internet connection died. So he ran to a bar and we could talk to him while he was in the bar, surrounded by French patrons. Then his French friend came onto the connection and talked to us for a long time. We heard some other writers read, but one of the highlights was definitely the security guard at the Journal. He is a writer and journalist who is in exile from Iraq. He has continued to write his poetry and fiction and has written a book that was copyedited by one of the Journal writers. So he read his poetry in Arabic, and then his friend read it in English. It was very cool. After this, Ben took me on a tour of the Edmonton Journal newsroom and I tried to identify various writers by their desks.

That evening, I went to a party. It was in the -40s but I walked the 10 blocks there instead of starting my car. I have a great winter system. I have a very warm parka and I wear a tuque and a face warmer. Then with my boots, mitts and cords, I'm good to go. The only exposed skin is around my eyes, and the only thing that really gets cold is the area between my boots and my parka. So basically, I had cold knees.

The party was quite fun although no one was dressed up and everyone left at about midnight, due to the cold. I ended up talking to a high school drama and dance teacher and an engineer whose wife is doing a masters' in international development. He and his wife had just done some overseas work in Zambia, and it was quite interesting to hear about.

On Sunday, I stayed home the entire day. I did not get dressed or change clothes until 8 at night, when I changed into a different set of pyjamas. I read 2 newspapers, watched two movies (The Apple and the Triplets of Belleville) and read most of "The Bishop's Man" by Linden MacIntyre. I think I'm going to have pyjama day every couple of months. It was wonderfully refreshing.

Today my brother called me at 8 a.m., wondering where our parents were. Please note that my brother lives in the same city as them, while I do not. I had talked to them on Friday, but immediately became concerned since it is so damn cold. I was imagining them stranded in a snowbank somewhere. So I called them repeatedly, and found out that they're okay and fine, although their water has been shot off for a few hours due to a water main break. The ironic thing about this is that my brother went to Calgary without telling them, and then he was concerned that they went away without telling him. Weird.
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Last night Mari and I went to go see the local production of Titus Andronicus. I don't think I've ever had a year where I saw this many Shakespeare plays before.

If you're familiar with Titus, you might not that this play is pretty much a gore-fest. It was one of Shakespeare's first hits, and it's basically his "Reservoir Dogs." It's definitely not my favourite play, but it's worth seeing for the sheer campiness. The body count is around 14.

I won't give away the whole plot, but I will relay some of the funnier moments from the night. There came a point in the evening when the audience just started laughing because the gore was so over the top, like a bad horror movie. As one woman was entering the stage after a vile attack, a happy little ice cream truck entered the park. The juxtaposition of the vile scene on stage and the ice cream truck's happy music made me laugh. I also laughed as some poor family, complete with children, left the park in horror. One poor kid, who was about 10 years old, was even covering his ears.

At one point, when someone got their hand cut off, I couldn't control myself and said loudly, "They're putting the hand in the baggie?" By this point, the cut off limbs were deliberately fake and the whole thing was just ridiculous. When one man brought in a box that was to contain severed heads,a man in the audience behind us said, "Heads up," and I couldn't stop laughing.

After intermission, we ran into someone Mari knew, so we sat on the grass with him. I don't know what was happening on that side of the stage, but people were abnormally flatulent. At one moment, a woman eating popcorn actually RAISED her butt cheek off a picnic bench in order to break wind. She let out a particularly loud and exuberant fart. The three of us looked at each other to make sure that we'd all really seen what we saw before we burst out laughing. It was seriously bizarre. After that, some guy giving his gf a back rub also broke wind a few times. I don't know what it was about that particular play, or the area where we were sitting but holy crap, people just kept on farting until the play was over.
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I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt- Awkward family photos
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Strangely, I am occasionally recognized in Edmonton. On Saturday night, Mari introduced me to a local newspaper editor, who recognized my name and knew that I had written a few things for his competitor. Another friend of hers said that I looked really familiar.

I also ran into a person a few weeks ago who had read and loved my book. I did not know this person at all, and was shocked and flattered, as I always am when this happens.

A few weeks before this, I was talking to a local author who recently published a book with my publisher.

Her- "You look really familiar. Have we met before?"

Me- Uh, I'm a Frontenac author too. You probably recognize my face from my book and the picture on the website.

(Heh)

*****
I think it's funny when people try to place my ethnicity without actually asking me about it. This happened at a bbq I was at on Saturday night.

Couple- Where are you from?
Me (guessing what they wanted to know)- Saskatoon.

Couple- (pause)- Um, what's your background? You look.... (awkward pause)

Me- (thinking that I should tell them about my education)- I'm French, German, English and my mother is half Chinese. My features come from my mother, but the colouring is all my father's.

I love telling people that I'm from Saskatoon when they ask where I'm from. I did this to one woman, and she told me that she had thought that I was from South America. Yeah, I'm an ass.
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On Saturday, I was in a Vietnamese restaurant in Red Deer at the same time as a group of local oil patch workers. I'm not sure what these guys did, but they were dressed in work clothes and spent a lot of time talking about "up north and Fort McMurray", which is pretty much slang for "the oil patch."

One of the guys was talking loudly and really liked to swear. However, instead of actually saying f*ck, he had adapted his speech to the Battlestar Galatica vernacular and made references to "Those frakkers. Motherfracker. A bunch of frackers" etc.

I was sitting across the room and had to concentrate really hard to keep myself from laughing.
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Caller- Hi, I'm caller for Linda blah blah blah.

Me- Sorry, wrong number.

Caller- Did I just call (insert number) here?

Me- Yes, that's my number.

Caller- I'm calling on behalf of the Conservatives.

Me- I'm sorry to tell you that you have just called a very, very, very wrong number. I am about as far from a Conservative as you could get.

Caller- Okay.

Me- Have a nice day. Bye!
blue_lotus13: (book)
Today I had two items to pick up at the library-

1. The twilight original soundtrack
2. Dark Banquet by Bill Schutt- a natural history book about animals that eat blood.


Hee.
blue_lotus13: (Default)
I mentioned this on facebook, but I'll mention it again here, just in case you didn't see.

I find it ironic that Turner Classic Movies is playing "Guess who's coming to dinner" tonight.

Guess who is in the White House?

Heh.
blue_lotus13: (write)
My friend Ron posted this a while ago and it totally cracked me up, possibly because I do like free food, reporter's notebooks and interns.

Stuff journalists like
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Today I got some brilliant spam targetted to me through my personal website email address. The subject line was "All your insomnia problems solved." Of course I clicked it open, to find some ad from a 25-year-old girl, etc, etc.

That was perfectly targetted to me. Does that person read my blog or know me? If not, that was just a lucky guess.
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After I posted that "Target Women" analysis about cleaning products, I got rather interested in the other segments. They are all absolutely accurate and spot on.

Sarah Haskins, the woman who does them, is really funny.

Here's one about click flicks .

I'm posting it especially for [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] who will appreciate the ending of the segment.
blue_lotus13: (Default)
My friend April posted this link on her facebook and it's too good not to share.

Basically the video looks at the sexual implications in cleaning product commercials.

Have a look
blue_lotus13: (book)
I'm signed up for a wide variety of book e-mail newsletters. Yesterday I got my new teen fiction one.

One of the books being promoted was a book called Cycler

The premise for this book is that a teen named Jill has an abnormal cycle that makes her into "Jack" for four days of each month. Jack is a full on teenage boy "complete with all the parts". Part of the intrigue of the story is that Jill doesn't know whether she could be "Jack" during prom-time.

This premise for this book is so completely terrible that it goes past terrible all the way to AWESOME.

(I need to read this)
blue_lotus13: (terrific)
Yes, I am going to see the movie tonight. My coworkers already bought tickets so that a group of us can go.

Last night I was watching the DVDs of Movies 101 . I watched episodes with Sigourney Weaver, and George Clooney.


George Clooney: Yes, I know Batman and Robin was bad. And the batsuit had nipples. I never understood that. I mean, what child is going to suckle on Batman?


(I laughed for about a minute after I watched that)
blue_lotus13: (craigannoyedconfused)
I just went to the local Safeway, where I saw posters and signs advertising their new campaign to raise awareness and money about prostate cancer. Now, I'm all for supporting awareness and funds for prostate cancer, but their marketing is hilarious.

They were selling blue cookies and the posters had a blue tie on them. So basically, we've gone from the pink ribbon for the blue tie. This makes me laugh.

In other news, my coworker interviewed 18 year-old r and b star Sean Kingston a few days ago. Kingston was quoted as saying, "I want to start a foundation to help kids, in Africa or Tokyo or Asia or overseas."

I'm sure the kids in Tokyo and Africa have the same needs and issues. This made me laugh and laugh.
blue_lotus13: (Default)
Yesterday I did a story about three GP guys who are going to be kayaking the Grand Canyon in August. Since the Grand Canyon is protected, you have to enter a lottery in order to be allowed to kayak its river system. One of the GP guys has been trying to get on the river for 14 years, and his ticket was finally drawn this year.

Anyway, we were talking about all the conservation involved. Apparently, anyone using the river system is required to accept a regulation container to pack out their excrement. This group will consist of eight people, who will be on the river for 8 days. That's a lot of shit to carry out.

(For some reason, I found this really funny)
blue_lotus13: (Default)
Neil Gaiman posted this in his journal, and I read it and laughed so hard that I cried.

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blue_lotus13: (Default)
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