Taken from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]

[blue_lotus13]

http://www.ironycentral.com/babymain.html


It's the story of a man and his baby. Fair warning, you must accept now that the man is an asshole and just laugh. Some choice selections:



Baby’s head (which looks like it had just been squeezed through a tube, because, you see, it had just been squeezed out through a tube).
It is a good measure of how horrifying childbirth is that, when it is taking place, leaving needles in your spine sounds like a great option.

While the mother doesn’t want me to go into too much detail, let’s just say that her private area looked like the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

Given the chance, she would suck my wife’s nipples until there was nothing left there but a bare patch, like a Barbie. And sure, that would be totally sexy. But then our next kid would have nothing to eat.

I read this yesterday, and laughed until I was almost crying. Then I was very happy that I do not have any children.

Comments

[protoainsley.livejournal.com]

OMG that's fucking hilarious.

Personally, I think breasts would be much prettier with flesh-colored nipples/aureoles, but that's me and probably WAY TMI.

[chriskalen.livejournal.com]

hahaha, i adore that site. i have been reading it since something like week 5, and i die laughing every time.